Who am I kidding? I’m not deleting my blog. How else would I be able to tell all of you that I just farted each time I took a step all the way from my living room to my bedroom?
I'm Bat Wayne, no, Bruce Man....FUCK!
Name: Nicole
Age: 20
If any of you fuckers still want to talk to me (not that you do it anyway), then find some way of staying in touch before I delete my tumblr. That is all.
Kids are so fucking stupid sometimes.
Once again a herd of teens came running down our street firing Roman candles at each other and at houses. Just because its a long weekend doesn’t give you the excuse to shoot fireworks at other people (your friends or whoever) or buildings. Think before you act, people!
Did I actually just get pissed while watching Four Weddings?
To the fifty year old that just renewed her vows- it was extremely rude to toast to your own wedding and say it was the best while at someone else’s. And it’s really classy to tell the winner to “go on and bang” her new husband as soon as she won.
Why do I watch these damn shows…
Anonymous Asked:
Please....I would love to sniff your feet.
I will kick you in the faaaace
It literally angers me and makes me want to roundhouse kick someone when people touch my feet. Is that weird?
My dad knows I hate having my feet touched. So naturally he always thinks its the best idea to wake me up by tickling them.
If you ever thought it’d be cute to wake me up or whatever by doing something like that, just don’t. I mean, unless you want me to be nothing but a complete bitch to you. I will fucking cut you if you do it though.
Fuck.
My dad just said a million isn’t much and that 200000 is a lot. Sir…umm…
Laundry.
| Dad: | you didn't fold any of it? |
| Nicole: | you asked me to wash your clothes, not fold them. I don't even fold my own damn clothes. You've seen my room. |
| Dad: | ...yeeeep. |
Why did I wake up singing “I’m in love with a stripper”? …
Today is a hangout/late birthday party for Gina. While picking out her present, you honestly have to look for stuff for a little girl. Oh hello Hello Kitty board game, she’ll like you. Ooou princess balloon, she’ll like you too! Candy and chocolate? Why not! Bracelet of darkness redness and whiteness too? Awwwwyeah!
My uncle just called Leonardo DiCaprio ”Lenaldo DiCaprihoochi“
..Lenaldo DiCaprihoochi.
(via jimcavill)
Oh…hi. You startled me. Next time let me know that you’re planning on going to sleep near my vagina instead of just suddenly making me feel something furry on my leg.
